He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
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then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
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How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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