i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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