Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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