At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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