The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize