DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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