I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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