if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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