god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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