ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize