Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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