i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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