I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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