after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
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Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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