can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize