i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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