just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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