I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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