she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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