Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize