i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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