soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm too high and old for this...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize