He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize