The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
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We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
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Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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