I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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