What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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