If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize