I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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