I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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