Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
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She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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