i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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