Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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