billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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