***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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