What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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