smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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