haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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