Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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