As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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