I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Come see our sink grown plant.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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