Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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