I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize