census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize