Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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