Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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