It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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