take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize