ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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