shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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