The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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